In light of World Cup Russia 2018, let's get our soccer metaphor going...
In the beautiful game, you play 11 strong players who you believe will produce the desired result.
Likewise, here are 11 strong action-oriented outcomes I believe soccer (or sports in general) can teach us about life. My two boys, ages 15 and 13, love competition, and they need sports as an outlet. I want them to learn how to play the game correctly, but the sports they play should direct them toward the larger picture.
As a long-time coach, I've tried to teach these skills to my players, and these are the things I need my children to learn from their various coaches. As a teacher, I see my students learning these lessons from me in my class as well.
I want my kids to learn how to:
win graciously
I want success for my boys, but when they succeed, I want humble hearts.
I'm proud that you got a positive result. Your effort and teamwork got you there. Congratulate the other team because they, too, worked hard. However good you're feeling right now, they're feeling that dejected. Point out a specific strength of their play.
lose with dignity
Everybody fails from time to time, sometimes a lot. We have to learn to deal with the disappointment and become stronger as a result.
The key is to continue to work hard and do your best. You want to improve individually and in your team skills. At the end of the game when you slap hands, keep your head up, look your opponents in the eye and acknowledge their strong team effort. Go home knowing that you've got plenty to work on in your next practice. Don't lose heart, keep working!
show sportsmanship
I don't expect to see my kids get all chummy with their opponents, but there should be a mutual healthy respect between teams.
Especially during game time, there needs to be a focus on your own team and what they need. However, show respect for your opponent when they get hurt, be clear about a good play they made, and work hard to keep your mouth shut and your actions appropriate when a ref or umpire makes what you think is a bad call. This is expected and will be enforced.
respect his teammates
I've seen this go well, and I've seen this go badly, and it's really up to the coach to make it happen.
This is your team, and there's a special bond between teammates that will never completely fade. I can remember my teammates from over 30 years ago. How do you want your teammates to remember you? How can you encourage your teammates to be their best? We need to root out the negative talk and learn from it. Build each other up and do your best to make your teammates better players and better people.
work hard and have fun
I have a lot more fun when I win, but winning takes work. I want my boys in situations where they are working toward attainable goals, while on a team but also in everyday life.
You're practicing for 2 hours, so you might as well make the most of it, right? At the end of practice feel proud that you worked hard and did what was asked of you. You can only do your best, nothing more.
listen to instruction
Please hold my kid accountable; he needs to know who's the boss, and he should respect authority.
Your coach is there for you, and he wants you to learn from him. He's got the experience, so give him your attention and do what he says. Trust that what he's saying is right; go to him if you're unclear, but ask your parents if you need further clarification.
play effectively
Whatever my kids are involved in, I want them to continually learn. If it's soccer, I expect them to become better at soccer.
Work toward improvement, and no matter who your coach is, do everything he says with your highest energy. Sometimes you get a knowledgeable coach--learn from him. Sometimes you get a coach who isn't so good--learn as much as you can. Be a good example in your efforts.
stick with it
My children need to learn how to discipline themselves in order to stay focused on a task.
If something is worth fighting for, fight for it! Oftentimes you will win the ball just by sticking with it longer or with more intensity than your opponent. When you're tired at the end of the game and the score is tight, fight through it to earn the reward, and encourage your team to do the same.
prioritize
Teach my boys the things that are more important than sports.
Sports is a privilege that can be fleeting, and you could be pulled out for many reasons: mistakes, injury, grades, etc. We try not to play much on Sunday mornings because it conflicts with church, and if your grades drop as a result of too much time on the playing surface and too little time hitting the books, then we need to reevaluate our family's priorities. If you're no longer positively contributing to your team, then let's talk about if this is the right place for you.
deal with difficult people
My children will need to learn to work with others they don't really like.
This difficult person might be a player who doesn't want to be there, who is a trouble-maker, who disrespects the coach or another player. You may even think this person doesn't deserve your respect. Please remember that you can only control yourself and be a good example for others to follow. Be patient and let your coach deal with problems if they arise. You can always ask me for advice as well.
earn the reward
I don't want things handed to my kids; I want them to learn to work toward a result.
I disagree with giving you a trophy simply for participation. Your participation award is simply the fact that you got to participate! A first place title is reason for celebration, and if you don't win the final trophy or game, I want you to know that I love you the same, and I'm proud of your efforts. You don't need to bring home a trophy to make me happy. Do your best, and I'm happy with that!
I have tried to teach my own boys these lessons throughout the years. For my family, it's best to be proactive and have these discussions in the car on the way to a practice or game. We are not always in the right emotional state after games to discuss room for improvement.
The ideals stated above are just that...ideals. This is what I want for my kids. I hope for a great coach every season, and sometimes I even coach them myself. There have been some seasons, though, when the coach has turned out to be a disappointment, whether it's because of a harsh attitude toward his own players or because of a lack of knowledge of the game. Not explored above, though, is how to deal with a coach who is not the role model you would desire for your children. There are other life lessons in that situation, perhaps written at a later time...
Do your best - that's the most you can do!
In the beautiful game, you play 11 strong players who you believe will produce the desired result.
Likewise, here are 11 strong action-oriented outcomes I believe soccer (or sports in general) can teach us about life. My two boys, ages 15 and 13, love competition, and they need sports as an outlet. I want them to learn how to play the game correctly, but the sports they play should direct them toward the larger picture.
As a long-time coach, I've tried to teach these skills to my players, and these are the things I need my children to learn from their various coaches. As a teacher, I see my students learning these lessons from me in my class as well.
I want my kids to learn how to:
win graciously
I want success for my boys, but when they succeed, I want humble hearts.
I'm proud that you got a positive result. Your effort and teamwork got you there. Congratulate the other team because they, too, worked hard. However good you're feeling right now, they're feeling that dejected. Point out a specific strength of their play.
lose with dignity
Everybody fails from time to time, sometimes a lot. We have to learn to deal with the disappointment and become stronger as a result.
The key is to continue to work hard and do your best. You want to improve individually and in your team skills. At the end of the game when you slap hands, keep your head up, look your opponents in the eye and acknowledge their strong team effort. Go home knowing that you've got plenty to work on in your next practice. Don't lose heart, keep working!
show sportsmanship
Especially during game time, there needs to be a focus on your own team and what they need. However, show respect for your opponent when they get hurt, be clear about a good play they made, and work hard to keep your mouth shut and your actions appropriate when a ref or umpire makes what you think is a bad call. This is expected and will be enforced.
respect his teammates
I've seen this go well, and I've seen this go badly, and it's really up to the coach to make it happen.
This is your team, and there's a special bond between teammates that will never completely fade. I can remember my teammates from over 30 years ago. How do you want your teammates to remember you? How can you encourage your teammates to be their best? We need to root out the negative talk and learn from it. Build each other up and do your best to make your teammates better players and better people.
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| credit: Shijith P Kunhitty |
work hard and have fun
I have a lot more fun when I win, but winning takes work. I want my boys in situations where they are working toward attainable goals, while on a team but also in everyday life.
You're practicing for 2 hours, so you might as well make the most of it, right? At the end of practice feel proud that you worked hard and did what was asked of you. You can only do your best, nothing more.
listen to instruction
Please hold my kid accountable; he needs to know who's the boss, and he should respect authority.
Your coach is there for you, and he wants you to learn from him. He's got the experience, so give him your attention and do what he says. Trust that what he's saying is right; go to him if you're unclear, but ask your parents if you need further clarification.
play effectively
Whatever my kids are involved in, I want them to continually learn. If it's soccer, I expect them to become better at soccer.
Work toward improvement, and no matter who your coach is, do everything he says with your highest energy. Sometimes you get a knowledgeable coach--learn from him. Sometimes you get a coach who isn't so good--learn as much as you can. Be a good example in your efforts.
stick with it
My children need to learn how to discipline themselves in order to stay focused on a task.
If something is worth fighting for, fight for it! Oftentimes you will win the ball just by sticking with it longer or with more intensity than your opponent. When you're tired at the end of the game and the score is tight, fight through it to earn the reward, and encourage your team to do the same.
prioritize
Teach my boys the things that are more important than sports.
Sports is a privilege that can be fleeting, and you could be pulled out for many reasons: mistakes, injury, grades, etc. We try not to play much on Sunday mornings because it conflicts with church, and if your grades drop as a result of too much time on the playing surface and too little time hitting the books, then we need to reevaluate our family's priorities. If you're no longer positively contributing to your team, then let's talk about if this is the right place for you.
deal with difficult people
My children will need to learn to work with others they don't really like.
This difficult person might be a player who doesn't want to be there, who is a trouble-maker, who disrespects the coach or another player. You may even think this person doesn't deserve your respect. Please remember that you can only control yourself and be a good example for others to follow. Be patient and let your coach deal with problems if they arise. You can always ask me for advice as well.
earn the reward
I don't want things handed to my kids; I want them to learn to work toward a result.
I disagree with giving you a trophy simply for participation. Your participation award is simply the fact that you got to participate! A first place title is reason for celebration, and if you don't win the final trophy or game, I want you to know that I love you the same, and I'm proud of your efforts. You don't need to bring home a trophy to make me happy. Do your best, and I'm happy with that!
I have tried to teach my own boys these lessons throughout the years. For my family, it's best to be proactive and have these discussions in the car on the way to a practice or game. We are not always in the right emotional state after games to discuss room for improvement.
The ideals stated above are just that...ideals. This is what I want for my kids. I hope for a great coach every season, and sometimes I even coach them myself. There have been some seasons, though, when the coach has turned out to be a disappointment, whether it's because of a harsh attitude toward his own players or because of a lack of knowledge of the game. Not explored above, though, is how to deal with a coach who is not the role model you would desire for your children. There are other life lessons in that situation, perhaps written at a later time...
Do your best - that's the most you can do!
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